Love Tainted
by Bendeja
Summary: Hiei has been gone for seven months and Kurama turns to Yusuke. But what happned to Hiei? YusukeKurama KuramaHiei MM AU
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho because if I did I would be rich and I am not...but I wish I was.

Warning: M/M. Implied rape. There is an original character in here and he does play a big part but he will not interfere with any of the couples.

Summary: Hiei is more distant that usual so Kurama goes to Yusuke. Yusuke want Hiei out the picture so he can have Kurama all to himself. And other than that I don't really have a summary so just read and tell me if you like. Hiei/Kurama Yusuke/Kurama Hiei/Kurama. Hiei/OC.

Hiei POV

I walked down the empty streets searching for a particular place. A place that will offer me warmth and get the chill out of my heart. Papers and other ningen trash dances to the rhythm of the wind in front of nimble booted feet. I snuggle into the warmth of my cloak and check my pocket one more time. I am reassured when I feel the wallet in my pocket. I didn't steal it; I sell jewels to a pawn shop owner from time to time as a way of having spending meaning. I refuse to be dependant on anyone. Which is why I studied ningen customs and acquired a state ID as well as other documents for identification.

I could move into my own home if I choose but I do not wish to. I continue my brisk walk, feeling the cool air surround me and I find my destination. A liquor store. I walked through the automatic doors and squinted in the bright lights. Every place is illuminated so I stand out, a shadow amongst light. My small feet make little noise on the floor and I survey each side of the aisle. What haven't I tried? Straight vodka...ugh that brings back bad memories and a bitter taste on my tongue. I shuddered and moved to the Bacardi and Smirnoff. It seems I have acquired a sweet tooth for fruity concoctions even in the alcohol I consume. Flavored vodka is quite enjoyable. The cashier narrowed his eyes at my ID, then he looked up at me.

His face is covered with stubble, I can see where each hair follicle comes from. His stained crooked teeth show as his mouth opens and he squints at the ID to make sure I am as old as I claim. The wrinkles around his eyes crinkle even more and I can smell his rancid breath. Toothbrushes are here for a reason. And that reason isn't so you can walk past them in the morning and keep them as decorations in your bathroom. His gut showed clearly from under his shirt which is stained under the armpits. I frowned deeply and take a step back from the foul human. It's OK to roll out of bed without showering if you don't stink and you look reasonably clean. But not for a middle aged over weight ningen, who sweats too much, smokes too much, drinks too much and has fantasies of under aged girls too much.

I paid for my purchase and take my ID out of his hairy hands. Sometimes I wish I could just burn these ningens and watch their ashes swirl around me. No, that's not an accurate statement. There are some ningens worth my time, but they are few and I wouldn't kill them. No I don't hate ningens it's just that I see the majority of them as fools. I see youkai that way as well. Sometimes I feel I should just find some way to conquer them all and force them to see some of the idiotic things they do then torture them for it. But then I would have to torture myself as well because I am too make foolish decision. So the only thing I can do to stop myself from going on a rampage is remember there are _some _similarities accept, few as they may be. I frown at this philosophy and stuff the ID back in the wallet. I think I'm going soft.

I walk out through the automatic door and into the night air. I go to a bar at the end of a corner after placing the other bottles in my bag. I like the way drinks are mixed here, when I am finished I leave. I feel a little buzz, I want to be stumble down drunk, but not around these ningens. Where should I go? A cemetery...ningens never go there. They're too afraid or consumed by grief to come here. especially at this this time of night. I find a tree to sit in and I open up my book bag. I pull out my CD player. I have taken a liking to ningen music as well. I don't put the headphones on my ears but I keep them around my neck so I'll be alert to any sounds. I'm definitely going soft. I open the bottle and gulp down half of it without taking a breath. If you consume quickly, you'll get intoxicated quickly. It seems even though I picked something I hadn't tried before it is delicious. It burns down my throat and even in my stomach but I like it.

What type of fire demon would I be if I didn't enjoy the burn of liquid fire? I stared at the bottle trying to figure out what the hell I'm drinking. I decide I really don't give a damn and I gulp down the other half. The wind blows again but I'm now comfortably warm. I don't feel that aching, cold emptiness in my chest. I feel rather warm and safe.

I snicker for absolutely no reason and I take another bottle down in moments. At this rate there will be nothing left. I better go get more. I hopped out of the tree wobbly and I go back to the liquor store. I'm sure the man won't care, he didn't seem the compassionate good Samaritan. As I make my way down the aisle I bump into a figure who is about 5'6 maybe 5'5. Taller than me but not so much taller that I feel my neck hurting when I look up at him. I stared at his clothes. All black. Another shadow in nothing but light.

"Dude... I think you're wasted," he said placing pale hands on my shoulders.  
"So what," I said, my voice came out slightly slurred. I guess I am.  
"Well I can't have you wasted and alone now can I? It's much more fun when you drink with someone else," he said. I squint up into clear blue eyes and at first glance his straight chin length brown hair seems natural but it isn't. It's dyed browned and blonde roots show which I find most amusing. I snickered at him for a few minutes and I agree to be his drinking buddy. As we walk to the park and settle.There he informed me that he just moved here and didn't know many people. His girlfriend was supposed to visit but something happened and she couldn't make it. He never asked much of me even as we relocated to a park to drink. He spoke and expected me to listen but didn't expect me to tell him my life. Which is why I enjoy his company and which is why I begin to tell him things. So much for drinking around ningens.

On the other hand he probably won't remember in the morning and neither will I.  
"So why are you here all alone drinking other than the fact that it's fun?" he asked just as I made up mind that I would tell him things.  
"I recently discovered that someone I have feelings for does not return those feelings and here I am," I said.  
"Did you ask her?" asked the young man and I realize I can't remember his name."What's your name? I'm Hiei," I said squinting at him. Everything is blurry, my veins are on fire and I feel good.  
"R.J...but how do you know she doesn't have feelings for you?" he continued.  
"I know _he _doesn't have feelings me because he has feelings for someone else," I said knowing that he wouldn't care. In our journey to the park he revealed himself to be bisexual.

"Oh...that sucks," he said then leaned back on his elbows and stared at me."But you're pretty hot you'll find someone else," he said. I laughed uncontrollably. A hot fire demon, how amusing. Our conversation moved on to other topics like music which is the other reason I don't see his kind as useless. But then after sometime and many drinks my mind gets blurry then my eyes feel heavy and I fall asleep next to the young man I just met.

Yay, end of chapter one tell me what you think. I'm sorry to admit it but uh... I don't know anything about Japanese culture so I sorta just American-ized even though they are in Japan. I only did so because of my own laziness, and because that's the way I saw it in my head.


	2. What the Hell?

Hiei's POV

In the morning I awake to someone tapping me on my shoulder. I sit up and reach for my katana.

"What are you doing?" I demanded.

"Calm down Hiei, I was just waking you up. We both passed out last night," the ningen said.

He is shaking his head at me as he speaks as though in disbelief.

"What? _We_? What are you talking about? I don't know who you are. Get your hands off of

me," I said. I looked around. _What the hell am I doing in a park? _I can hear birds chirping,

people walk by staring at us curiously. I scowled at them. The human spoke again.

"Oh my God, you were more wasted than I thought. You don't remember me at all?"

I stared at him, he is around my height. I have a feeling that I should know who he is but I don't. Shit,

I should know a lot of things but I don't. Where am I? Why am I in the Ningenkai? Why am

I not in the Makai? I rubbed my forehead where my jagan is, which is throbbing painfully. I

know a little about myself. I am Hiei. I am from the Makai. I am half Koorime, half fire

demon. I have a jagan... And what else? Why can't I remember?

I fold my arms across my chest and frown. What the hell?

"Dude this isn't funny are you playing around?" the ningen demanded. What the hell am _I_

doing associating with... ningens?

"Get away from me. Leave me alone," I replied.

"Oh shit, you're serious. I feel offended," he commented running a hand through his colored

hair.

"Don't be...I can't remember much of anything," I said reluctantly.

The ningen came closerand told me his name was R.J. He claimed to have met me last night, he told me of how we

got intoxicated together. I find that hard to believe but I am looking straight into his clear blue

eyes and know he has no reason to lie. I stood and hesitantly followed him to his home. It

isn't as if he can hurt me. I don't know where else to go... and he's not that annoying.

7 Months Later

Kurama's POV

For the tenth time in the past two minutes I pushed Yusuke off me.

"Would you please maintain your distance?" I asked.

"Come on it's been weeks since we've done anything," he complained.

"It's been five days and we are doing something right now," I said.

He scoffed and grumbled under his breath but he didn't attempt to jump me. We haven't

seen sight of Hiei in 7 months. We started searching 3 months ago but we weren't really

worried. Now we are at least I am. I cannot figure out where he went. And I have to wonder

if I took some part in his disappearance. When Hiei discovered Yusuke and I together he

seemed surprised.

I had flirted and dropped hints but my logic took over. Why should I be with someone

who can't or rather won't return my love? It never bothered him if I told him of my love

affairs with the humans from my school because he didn't think I was serious about them. He

was right. But he caught me with Yusuke and I told him what I felt to be true at the time. I

told him I loved Yusuke and he loved me. I told him that our relationship could go

somewhere. He had shrugged and promptly informed that he didn't care who I fucked. He

did care though. If he truly didn't he would only have snorted, called me a hentai and left us.

Besides, I could see it in his eyes and I wondered if I had made a mistake. What did he

expect me to do? I flirted with him openly but he never responded to me so I moved on.

Now I'm beginning to regret that because I miss his presence, I miss his attitude. Yusuke

is immature. I doubt he really loves me and I now know I don't love him. He was simply a

way to relieve my sexual frustrations. Even though I did bed humans, I wanted someone

powerful and someone masculine. I wanted someone I truly knew, a friend and I found

Yusuke. I'm starting to believe he simply wants nothing but sex, which that isn't a problem.

However a full time relationship with him is. I'm ready to ask him if he just wants to be

friends with benefits. That would eventually lead to complications and we would probably be

back together after a few weeks. I shake my head of that thought quickly, I should save that

decision for another time. It's four in the morning, my stomach is rumbling. I want nothing

more than to curl up in a warm bed. I turned on the ignition and backed off the street, driving

away from the park.

I remember that I met Hiei in that park before. After searching around and waiting we still

can't find him. I sense him- he is alive but his ki is hard to pinpoint. I sighed and asked

Yusuke if he wanted to go to a nearby diner. He agreed exuberantly, suddenly rejuvenated.

The place is empty as expected. It's also on the dim side, but it is cozy and they have great

food. The aroma of onions, coffee, steaks, and baked desserts filled my nostrils the moment I

enter the door. Yusuke hurried over to a booth. We both order massive amounts of food that

arrives quickly. Just as we dig in a group walks in speaking loudly and laughing about a

concert. I don't turn towards them I simply eat my food. I didn't know I was this hungry!

Sometimes I forget about the fragility of my human body.

"No..." Yusuke said under his breath .

I stared at him puzzled; he is turned all the way around in his seat looking at the group of

people. I stare in the direction, he is looking. I see...Hiei... I'm puzzled. He left for seven

months to hang around with a group of gothic humans? I stared at Hiei, his hair is spiky as

always, he still wears a headband around his jagan and his arms are still warded. But instead

of the usual long black coat he has on baggy black pants with chains and hooks on them. The

black boots and still there but there are spiked collars around his wrists and neck. He has on

a black muscle shirt with a large tribal S with the word Slipknot going through it. Wait... I

need to process this again. He left for seven months to hang around a group of ningens and to

turn into a goth. This is another one of life's mysteries that I can not solve. Hiei looked

directly at me and gave me the rock on symbol which earned a few laughs from his seven

friends. There are both males and females, four are dressed similarly to Hiei except for three

who are simply dressed in jeans and a band t shirt.

"That concert rocked," one said and they all agreed. The eight of them sat in two booths but

they often stood up and rotated seats to talk to someone else in their group.

"What's he doing Kurama?" Yusuke asked after he picked himself up off the floor.

"I don't know, I'll go ask him," I said after wiping my hands on a napkin. I approached them

and all those who saw me turned to stare at me skeptically.

"Hiei," I said softly placing a hand on his shoulder. I forgot how hot his skin is.

"Why are you touching me?" he demanded snatching his shoulder away from me, not

bothering to look at me, his tone is one of mild disgust.

"Hiei... may I speak with you?" I asked.

"I don't know you. What would I have to speak to you about?" he asked turning around to

stare up at me. He frowned up at me, something flickering in his eyes.

"Why does that sound familiar?" one asked with a loud laugh.

"Shut up R.J. Now do you know me?" Hiei asked seriously.

"You don't remember me?" I asked and he nodded impatiently. I informed him that I would

be back and I told Yusuke of the situation.

"WHAT?!" he yelled which caused stares and laughs.

After I assured Yusuke in a quiet manner that it was no joke, I returned to Hiei who is

conversing in low tomes with the one he called R.J. by the men's bathroom. Upon noticing

me they both became quiet and R.J. returned to his seat. Hiei stared at me so I walked over

to stand in front of him.

"What's your name? Why do I get the sense you're not human and how do I know you?" he

demanded without tactic.

"I'm Kurama...and both of those other questions require long answers," I replied.

"Well at the moment I'm in no mood to hear a story so contact me at this number and we will

arrange a time where we can speak," he said quickly pulling a piece of paper out of his

pocket.

He then walked past me and returned to his friends. That's Hiei...blunt and efficient in

getting what he wants. I don't bother to speak to Hiei again; even though he is a little different

there are still certain characteristics that are undeniably Hiei.I return to my seat and share a

silent meal with Yusuke. The meal doesn't taste as good as it did earlier.

"That was weird," Yusuke commented after we returned to my apartment.

When I turned eighteen I moved out and though I attend college I prefer this to a dorm.

Yusuke and I crawled into bed tiredly. My mind is on Hiei. What could have made him

forget about his life? Yusuke placed hungry kisses on my neck but I pushed him away. He

grumbled to himself then left to sit on sleep on the couch, only to return ten minutes later

grumbling about being uncomfortable. A few minutes later he placed kisses on my neck and I

gave in to his advances. I don't want to think about hiei anymore.

Hiei's POV

After we finished eating at the diner I returned to my apartment. I prefer not to share with

anyone, I believe living with someone would annoy me to no end. R.J. lives next door and we

see each other very often but we aren't around each other 24/7. I have my own job as a bar

tender and R.J. works at the same place only he's a waiter. The ningen helped me a lot, he

showed me how to function in this world when I could function nowhere because I knew

nothing of myself. He offered me companionship and pointed out my flaws quickly. I had told

him I didn't need the help of a weak human. Once he knew I was a demon he told me all my

prejudices were nonsense. Then it made sense. Why should I hate a whole race because a

few of them are unbelievably stupid? He informed that I would be just as stupid as the

ningens who persecute each other for sexual orientation, race, and religion. He told me if I

wanted to hate someone and kill someone that it should be for a real reason.

In my unstable state it made sense to me and it still does.

If I hadn't take his help I would probably be dirty, huddled in a tree hungry and trying to figure out what the hell I was doing

there in the first place. I still do that sometimes but I'm never hungry and I'm not as miserable

as I could be. I take a hot shower finding it hard to come down from the adrenaline induced

state the concert put me in. I'm still giddy and I still feel like head banging to a few more

songs. But I need to get to get a little sleep before I go to work tomorrow, well later. Just as

I settle into bed nude as it is my prefernce, the phone rings and I reluctantly answer. It better

not be that red head all ready. I know he had to get some home he looked exhausted.

It didn't take away from his good looks but it was obvious that he needed a nap.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey sexy how was the concert," a familiar voice said.

"I told you not to call here Cory," I said flatly. He is one of those people I should kill for

being stupid. We had sex a few times, it went no further than that but obviously he feels

different. I had sex with him because he is half demon and pretty strong for one but I know

now he has some issues.

"How was the concert?" he asked.

"I'm hanging up now," I said then turned the ringer. I rolled over and went to bed. When I awake I check the answering machine. All the messages are drunken calls from Cory.

I should start stalking him and see how he feels about it. I made myself a cup of coffee and

omelet then turned on the television just so the silence won't bother me. The phone rings

once more and I sigh before I pick it up. Surprise, surprise, it's Cory.

"Why don't you return my calls?" he demanded. I hang up on him and then it rings again.

"IT WAS JUST A STUPID FUCK! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE AND DON'T

CALL HERE ANYMORE! IF I TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME I WILL HUNT YOU

DOWN AND CUT YOUR BALLS OFF!" I yelled without waiting for the person to speak.

"Are you all right Hiei?" a gentle voice asked and my temper flared down.

"Yeah...I thought you were someone else," I said quietly.

"Well if you're not busy I'd like to talk to you later on tonight at around eight," he said.

"I'll be at Dahlia's can you be there?" I asked.

"No I don't have a problem with that," he said.

"OK bye," I said then unplugged the phone. R.J. came in my home with his key a few

moments later laughing loudly.

"Don't tell me. Cory," he laughed and I rolled my eyes.

He helped himself to some food and plopped down on my couch. I enjoy his company, he doesn't feel the need to talk non

stop. I don't consider my lifestyle to be boring. I have fun mixing drinks _and _I always sneak a

few drinks so that's always good. R.J. lives next door and I find him amusing. I train in an

abandoned park on the weekends and if I have enough time the week days. I don't know

how my old life was but for some reason I take comfort in a schedule which leads me to

believe my old life was the complete opposite. I do enjoy the outdoors and I do have many

spontaneous moments but the schedule is comforting. I feel I have a place here and I do not

like to delve into my memories.

I'm sure some of my recurring dreams aren't really dreams but repressed memories. The

dream begins with me dream falling down, I hear a woman's cry, then a baby's then my own.

Then I get images of forests and a group of demons that I seem to be traveling with. Then the

image shifts to one of me huddled against a tree trunk on one of the highest branches, I feel

alone, hungry, violated, and bitter. Anger burns slow and strongly in my heart constantly.

Then I am going under a knife and a man is telling me that I will probably die. After that I see

the tattoo on my arms smoking and a dragon hurtling towards an enemy. I remember being in

a tournament of sorts and people booing my team but I can not see any of their faces. None

of it is clear. But if that is what my life was like I don't want to remember much more than

that.

In my dreams I can always feel hate, anger, and bitterness slowly pulsing, snubbing all my

other emotions, numbing me. The majority of the time I felt, numb but something would

always trigger the hate, the anger, and an unbearable pain that made my heart hurt. I

remember a dream in which I stared at my expressionless reflection and those emotions came

back as I stare at what I had become. Now I still get angry but I don't feel that pain. I do

however get frustrated when I need to remember something about myself and I can't. For

example when I met Kurama, I felt like I should remember him. He seemed vaguely familiar

but I couldn't recall ever seeing him. I never even saw his face in my dreams. He seemed to

know me so I assume he can tell me some things about myself...even though at this point I'm

not sure I want to know.

The day quickly passes R.J. and I play cards the whole time and occasionally throw things at

each other or comment on our lives.

"Who was the girly guy you were talking to yesterday?" he asked with a sneer.

"Kurama is obviously a boy," I said in a cold tone which ended further discussion on that

matter but it didn't stop him from asking other questions.

"So...do you like him?" he asked.

"I just met him," I said rolling my eyes and placing a card down on the wooden table.

"I hate when you pretend you don't know what I mean. You're too smart for that," he

commented.

"I hate when you ask stupid questions like the one you asked earlier when you know how I

will respond," I replied. He sighed loudly and leaned back in the wooden chair.

"Ill," he said suddenly. I raised an eyebrow at him waiting for him to continue.

"I just remembered you said you did it with Cory on this table," he said.

"I washed it and I seem to remember you coming in here for food and you seeing us I don't

recall_ telling_ you anything, you walked in," I said. He shrugged and wrinkled up his nose and

I rolled my eyes at him once more. If he's as disgusted as he claims to be he would have

moved away and suggested going to play in the kitchen where I have a large counter with bar

stools.

I looked at the clock it's about 5:00; we should start getting ready for work now. I dig

around my closet for a pair of black slacks and try to find the crisp white button down shirt. I

really only need a collared t-shirt but I don't like the way that looks so I prefer the long

sleeves. I also have to keep my arms covered at work. My tattoos are already warded but

my boss prefers and so do I if I keep the bandages covered. I often get teased by R.J.

because he says I look too formal. After dressing we both take the bus to work and I station

myself behind the bar while he went to start taking orders. It's not very surprising when Cory

walks in a few minutes later with a gift box under his arms.

He's not that bad of a guy, he's not an alcoholic, he goes to school, and has a job but he

has stalker tendencies. At first I tried to be nice but half human, half ice demons are stubborn.

He tucked a strand of wavy shoulder length black hair behind his ear and strode over to the

bar in nothing but a muscle shirt and a pair of jeans. His arms are heavily muscled, his whole

body is sculpted. I rolled my eyes when the blue eyed half demon walked over to me. I

served the drunk old man in front of me his tenth shot and wiped the bar down after

accepting the bill. The old man stumbled past Cory and out the door. It's not really that busy

this time of the day but this is also where there are sodas and milkshakes made so I have

plenty to do.

I ignored him and set about pouring sodas and handing them off to waitresses or the

customers who got impatient and reordered their own drinks. He sat at the bar stubbornly

and ordered from the other bartender settling near the stool in the corner. I ignore him but I

can feel his eyes on me the whole time. R.J. snickered and spoke to him every time he

walked by with a tray. The restaurant is dimly lit and near the bar the lights are covered so

they glow blue. This is how I met him. He came in almost everyday and sat in the corner

ordering from the other bartender sneaking glances at me until I came over to take his order.

I told him to stop coming here and he refused, his stubborn nature enticed me. He wants

what he wants and he'll get it no matter how long he has to wait or what he has to do. It was

alluring then...but disturbing now. How many times do I have to reject him?

I sighed again I should have never dated him. I look back and know that it wasn't just a

fuck I felt _something _for him because I was with him for three months. Then whatever that

_something _was went away and I wanted him out my life as a lover but he could still be a

friend. A friend I'd rarely call or see but a friend. I told him several times it was just sex but

he doesn't believe that... I don't either, there was something about him that's just not there

anymore. I think I just had a crush and it went away. But he feels deeply about it. He makes

that known by calling me at all hours of the day and coming to my job. I refuse to change my

number or schedule. I'll deal with him one way or another. I glanced at the clock, it's about

7:45 and the red head is already here looking at me intently. I take my break and walk over

to him.

"What do you need to tell me?" I asked in place of hello.

"Are you off?" he asked instead.

"Actually no, you asked me if I could meet you at around eight and well I _am _here as asked.

You can tell me what you need to at the bar or on my break. Or we could arrange to meet

somewhere some other time," I said.

"No, I don't mind telling you hear it's just that it will be busy soon and I don't think you'll

have much time to talk to me. That and people might over hear," he said in that soft voice of

his. He does seem familiar...I just can't remember him...damn it!

"Well...I'm off very late we can talk then...you can come over to my apartment," I said

"No, I don't mind coming to your apartment but I'm rather hungry so I suppose I'll stay

around this area," he said then pulled a small book bag from the floor.

"So...how old are you?' I asked.

"Well this human body is eighteen years old but in my demon form I am a little over a

thousand years old, I'm afraid I've lost track of the exact number" he said with a wistful

smile.

"Well if it helps you like good for your age," I said. He seemed surprised by this.

"What?" I asked and he laughed a moment later.

"I didn't know you had it in you...to joke around I mean. I almost don't want to tell you anything. You seem...you seem content," he said.

His legs are crossed in the way that men cross their legs, he is wearing jeans and button

down shirt. His well groomed hair falls straight and gracefully over his shoulders and his eyes

seem to glow in the darkness in the dimness in this section of the restaurant. He doesn't seem

to mind though. Everything is neat and in place around him, he isn't rugged or messy like

Cory who's long hair never stays in place and is never completely straight. I guess that's

what happens when you've lived for as long as he has.

Damn it I'm so young compared to him. He's more than thirty times my age! A female

coworker named Stephanie came over and took his order sending me questioning glances.

"What?" I asked after I got annoyed, she gestured frantically and I walked over to her after

excusing myself. If she wasn't the owner's daughter I would light her sleeve on fire then try to

douse it with a bottle of vodka.

"He's not gay right? Because for some reason all the cute guys are gay and they want you

and R.J.," she said.

"I'm not gay, I'm bi and all those guys you are talking about were bi too, there is a

difference," I said.

"Yeah whatever you say but is he?" she asked.

"I don't know. You ask and tell me," I said.

"Oh no no no!" she exclaimed and I turn to stare in that direction. Cory is talking to Kurama

so I rush over and tap Cory on the shoulder."Don't you have somewhere to be?" I asked.

"No baby. Here I brought you something," he said. I sweat dropped and bashed him on the

head with his box. He fell over and eye twitching I return to my place behind the counter.

Cory yelled at me for a few moments before picking up his box and leaving. After about an

hour or so Kurama came over to the bar.

"Was that your boyfriend?" he asked curiously.

"He wishes," I grumbled filling a glass with scotch for an old man.

Just as I started to calm down from that Cory returned with two boxes which he shoved in

front of me. I see my supervisor so I accept them through gritted teeth and asked if he

wanted anything. Soon enough the painful evening is over and I am inviting Kurama back to

my apartment. Cory had left moments ago because of a family emergency so I don't have to

worry about him going into a jealous rage. While Kurama used the bathroom I opened up the

box while sitting on my window seat. _I might as well keep them. I deserve it for putting _

_up with him. Even though I'm going to have to have a serious anger free talk with _

_him.  
_  
I opened the box and I let out a sigh. It's those pants I wanted but couldn't afford. Cory's

a rich bastard, his mother is rich his father is somewhere in the Makai probably dead. I know

his father left him a fortune in Makai jewels which translated to a fortune in human money and

his mother was born rich. I opened the other box-the first box he brought, there are

autographed CDs and shirts in there. I sighed again it's a good thing I didn't damage them.

Well he does know something about me...I just wish he'd take a hint and leave me alone.

Kurama returned and commented on how much I changed and how much I had stayed the

same. I rolled my eyes and carefully packed the things back into the box.

My curiosity got the best of me and I gestured for him to sit down. He did as I asked and sat

down on the couch.

"I don't know where to start. I don't know that much about you. I can tell you what I

thought was going on in your head but it wouldn't be accurate. Even though I was your

closest friend we rarely talked about your life. We mostly shared fighting stories and enjoyed each other's company," he said then stared past me at his own reflection.

"Don't reminisce on time lost," I said with a frown.

"You don't remember anything do you?" he asked.

"Only what I've been told and what I've been told only fills up one night of twenty one

years," I replied.

"True...I can tell you more than that. But would you like to see pictures of your old

friends...other friends?" I asked.

"Ill! Who's this?" I demanded when I see the first picture of a rather homely looking ningen

with carrot colored hair.

"That's Kuwabara You two didn't get along too well but you respected each other...mildly,"

he replied. I shuddered and moved on to the next image. A girl with blue hair and red eyes

stared back at me.

"I have...a sister?" I asked.

"Yes... but she doesn't know that. It's a complicated matter. Put those down and I'll tell

you," he said.

"Well you know you're part fire demon and Koorime?" he asked and at my nod he

continued.


	3. Don't Touch Me

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho... or A.F.I...

Warning M/M**Anna ****Jaganshi****- I think I love you!**"You don't know who I am so,You cannot get close to meAnd I don't know who you are,So just leave me alone.I know you can't believeThe anxiety you're causing meAnd I know you can't believeYour fake compassion I don't need.Get away from me, You're standing too close.Keep your hands off of me.Keep away from me, Just leave me alone,who said you could touch me anyway?Don't try to rub my shouldersAnd don't try to hold my hand.Don't try to give me a fucking hug.You crawl on me as if I were your very best of friends.I don't even know your name.Get away from me, You're standing too close.Keep your hands off of me.Keep away from me, Just leave me alone,Who said you could touch me anyway?" -A.F.I "Who Said You Could Touch Me?"Hiei's POVHe's out of his mind right? After listening to his recollection I sense some familiarity. I don't like it. It brings feeling of loneliness and bitterness. I jerked away when he placed a hand on my shoulder. His closeness is bothering me all of a sudden. Before it didn't but now it does. I don't know this guy. He could be some nut job guy after me and part of his story could be true. Shuiichi...Youko Kurama... Kurama whoever the hell he is. I swatted a hand off me. I don't like this. I wish he would back off and stop those soothing words in that soft voice of his.He's not here to help he probably just needs my assistance in one of those tournaments he spoke of. No I don't trust him. He told me all of this not to help me but because he wanted me to join his team again...or Yusuke's team. I don't know this man he keeps touching me and telling me it's OK. He doesn't know what he just did to me. I wasn't expecting a grand life but I also wasn't expecting something so... utterly miserable. When he spoke of it all the feelings from the nightmares that are my memories came back. I don't need him... not after this. He shattered the stable life I managed for myself."Thank you for that lovely story, it was quite charming. I'd like some rest now so I'll lead you out," I spat at him gathering his things and throwing them out the door. "Hiei...," he began and started to place a hand on my shoulder looking quite compassionate. He just wants something, I've read about youkos and by the sound of it he's one of the worst ones. I know human nature isn't enough to completely suppress demon instincts and in his eyes I can see that. At my glare he placed his hand awkwardly at his side, it's unfitting for such a graceful creature but it is the reaction I want. He nodded and left.I know it will not be the last I see of him but I can't concern myself with that. I went over to my closet I've traded in black cloaks for leather trench coats. I yanked it down and put it on. "Hey man, where are you going? I saw that red head leave," R.J. said peering out his apartment."Are you OK?" he asked when I offered a blank stare. At the moment I don't want him around or touching me. He is in black pajama pants and a muscle shirt and his smile is fading, he's getting closer. "Don't touch me," I snarled and using the gifts I have been blessed with I blurred from his vision. I find myself in a park. I sit in a tree branch with my feet dangling glaring at the ground as if it insulted me.I tucked my hands in my pockets. Damn it. I don't want to go back to that. It's true I do have insatiable violent urges but...no... Not that. Lonely, at birth they let me plummet to my death. No companions. I survived obviously but my nightmares tell me what a bitter creature I had become. If I remember it all will I become that creature again? A morbid being that was constantly consumed by rage and bitterness that was practically incapable of feeling everything but those two emotions. It hurts physically after awhile then it dulls... to numbness yet it is still there in many instances. I closed my eyes to the bright green grass. I can smell the thick heady fresh scent of rain and I backed into the corner of the tree against the trunk. The bark is rough but welcome I guess some habits are never lost. I folded my arms across my chest but I inch my hand down to touch the dagger in my boot. Feeling it there brings a strange sense of security. As if my physical reassurance brings mental assurance on a completely different matter. The air around me cools off and I sense Cory. I don't care at this point. Do I sit here and continue with this existence while demons potentially take over the world giving me a life worse than I used to know? Or do I help and fight for this world? Do I fight for the people who have found peace or do I let them rot? Kurama... Shuiichi spoke as if it were a dire matter... me being on the team or whatever the hell it is. And to think I used to be one of the demons bent on world domination- it makes the whole story ludicrous. I sighed not surprised when Cory came up onto the branch I am on. He caught me in a park like this on many occasions. I can't get up the energy to glare at him, to tell him to fuck off. For a long time he didn't speak he merely sat that there. But soon he broke the silence."It seems I know you well," he said offering a lazy smile."It seems you know my tendencies well. You know nothing about me," I replied. I left the part about me not knowing much about myself out. He nodded and didn't speak again even as it rain flattening his hair to his head. Well as long as I have some stalker ex- lovers I'll never be alone. I think this with an amused smile which Cory doesn't note because he isn't facing me he is staring straight ahead his legs dangling from the branch. We didn't speak again even as it reached four AM. I love this time, the fresh smell brought me out of my numbness. This is a charming time of day where nature is just waking up. Everything is so fresh and so cool. Calm, the birds start their daily high pitched song. It seems like nature is awakening. I closed my eyes and feel the cool breeze on my skin. I need to stay up through this more often. It seems like at exactly four the birds start chirping. I jump down from my perch but Cory doesn't follow. For this I am grateful. I reluctantly head back to my apartment my calm feeling slowly distorting to an unsettling feeling in my stomach. I feel sick. I'm heading back to an illusion. I want to run away and go somewhere else... away from all of it but I manage not to. I walked up the stairs of the shabby building and head to my apartment which is impeccably neat but shabby as well. I walk to my room and after undressing I settle in the bed in the corner against the wall folding my legs up making myself as small as possible. Yes... old habits are hard to get rid of. I get no wakeup call from R.J. but I know he is awake. Through the thin walls I can hear his television. An audience chants and cheers and a muffled host's voice penetrated in through the walls. I grab something to eat and plop on the worn couch. It isn't new just reupholstered. I play the message on the answering machine. Kurama... or Shuiichi...whatever his name is called and of course Cory called as well. Kurama's message is calm, his tone warm and soft as he informs that he will call back. Cory's tone is warm, excited and tired as he asks if we can meet. According to his message he reached an epiphany last night.It doesn't matter if I meet him or not he'll come by if I don't. His arranged meeting time has past so I know he'll be knocking here any minute. However I make no move to avoid him. I shouldn't have to leave my home because of him. _But this isn't your home, you don't have one._ That thought sent a pang to my gut. No I made this my home. I can keep it. I don't have to go back to that completely I enjoy having my own my place. I love the outdoors, I love a good adventure. I love a warm summer day in the forest, working out but I love having a place that I can call my own to return. I know I didn't have that before. Cory knocked on my door and I frowned. _Stalker_. Would the cops be able to _stop him?_ I opened the door and let him in. He wasted no time he immediately started speaking. "Last night I realized I can't force you to be with me and I can't force you to love me. And if you do you'll come to me. I apologize Hiei, I'd like to be friends," he said extending his hand."You can't have your things back those were gifts," I said while shaking the cool hand. Fire and ice. Warmth on warmth. Ice on ice. That had been interesting, I am able to lower my temperature so it had been interesting having sex while we were both cool, even more interesting when I was hot and he cold, interesting when he raised his temperature to a human level as did I. He laughed heartily and shook his head."What would I do with that stuff? It's too little for me and not my style, and I'm rich remember? I can afford it. Even though I still wish you would have accepted to share a nicer apartment in the building I own with R.J. The offer still stands. I'd give it to you cheap, it's fully furnished with brand new things you don't need anything but food, clothes, decorations, and toiletries" he said. "I'll run it over with him," I said truthfully. Initially I wanted my own place to prove I could handle myself on my own, to show independence but I also know to be independent it won't hurt to take a few bargains. It would probably be easier if I go back to that spirit detective business. It would definitely be cheaper if I had to split bills. And Cory is a very generous person I know he'll probably buy us food and he'll probably pay rent in advance. _I know __him,__ he will do_ _something along those lines_I may be able to deal with what Kurama told me with more ease than I thought. Cory told me to call him then he left wearing a bright smile. I convinced R.J. to move in with me after refusing to tell him about last night. I called Cory and he insisted that I move in that night but I refused. I reluctantly called Kurama."Hiei is that ou? How have you been? I can't believe it," a voice asked cheerfully, whoever it is sounds tired and is breathing heavily."You're not Kurama," I commented. He laughed loudly and I pulled the phone away from me but it did nothing to dull the sound. Kurama answered out of breath as well sounding quite surprised.

"That detective business you were going on about, you can call me when you need me for that...but other that don't call. I really don't know you anymore I don't want to know you. I'll stay where I am, I'll be ready for that," I said in as polite a tone I could manage. I don't want a guilty conscience and I can keep balance. I can learn about my past despite how it seems and I can keep my present life. I'll let things work itself out but I will not go back to that. "Oh," he said, he sounds stunned so I give him another moment but he doesn't speak so I tell him I have to go. As I tend the bar R.J. came over smirking. He has that smirk on, the smirk he wears when he has done something I do not like."What?" I demanded."That red head just came in actually dragged in by a group of people who want to see you. I know they want to see you because they were yelling your name and arguing about coming in," he said then broke out into hysterical laughter. He leaned on the counter and tears filled his eyes. I grimaced and scrubbed an invisible spot he took a seat and laughed loudly slapping his knee. I rolled my eyes at him. I ducked under the bar table and pretended to be doing something but instead I just took a glass and poured myself a few shots. The burning calmed down and I finished filling two orders while R.J. laughed. It's time for a break but I drag him to the bathroom."What are we doing?" he asked sobering."Avoiding.""It must be bad because you don't avoid," he said. He sat up on the seat and we nodded politely at customers but I sense tow familiar energies coming closer. Kurama and that Yusuke guy I met. I've been strong all my life according to Kurama I'm allowed to have a few moments where I don't deal with it. I grabbed R.J. and pulled him into the stall with me. "I sense Hiei," Yusuke muttered and R.J. immediately let out a lustful sounding moan. I glared up at him and he shrugged so I let out my own moan. He snickered at the humor then remembered he was acting and mumbled that tickles Hiei. There is a short scuffle outside and Kurama hisses lets go while Yusuke insists on staying but Kurama wins. R.J. let out a loud laugh and sank to the floor in hysterics which gave me more room so I plopped on the toilet chuckling but not nearly as amused as he is. I know I'll have to see them sooner or later, I'd just rather that it be later. "I have to tell my girlfriend this. She'll think it's hilarious," he laughed some more and leaned against the door seeming tired. He stared up at the false bright lights and the tiled ceiling. I stared down at the dusty floor he is sitting on and I frowned at the lingering smell of piss in the air. "Ten more minutes of this," I said."I'm actually comfortable," he said closing his eyes. It is I'm used to small spaces. I'm used to the two of us resting after playing tricks on people or just relaxing in the strangest places. I shrugged my agreement and the ten minutes passed quickly. Before we left we washed our hands then we tried to look a little disheveled which was easy. I head back to the bar and he began walking around the tables. I don't see Kurama and whoever else he brought with him that's good hopefully R.J. led them somewhere away from here. As I busy myself with other customers and orders my paranoia fades quickly. I enjoy working at the bar it keeps me busy and the music in the background makes everything go by faster. That is why I'm a little surprised when Yusuke is my next customer. "What would you like?" I asked ignoring his warm greeting."Hiei... why are you avoiding us we're your friends," he said and I frowned. I don't want to be your friend. I don't want anything to do with you. "I'm sorry sir but if you're not going to order please return to your seat or let the young lady ahead of you while you make your decision," I said curtly. He stomped out of sight. I must make new friends, some that aren't stalker types.A few moments passed and a small young woman walked up to the bar. She smiled graciously and seated herself at a bar stool. I walked over and served her a root beer float which she drank smiling. I stared into red eyes... so much like mine. _How does she not know? She's no fool. She knows I am her brother. But she __must understand my predicament._"Hi... Yukina," I said matching her soft cheerful tone."Hello Hiei, I just wanted to see you with my own eyes. Though you never speak much I consider you close to me, like family," she said. _She knows. It's obvious there are some_ _intelligent people around_ She didn't demand my attention just my company. After an hour or so and only a few spoken words she returned to the group. I can still sense the group when my shift ends. I start to put on my coat and slip out the back door but it's time for me to face them. I think I have been with R.J. too long his bad habits are rubbing off on me. Many times he doesn't deal with his problems; he avoids them. I'm learning to do that too and it disgusts me. I do slip my coat on but instead I head over to the table they are occupying. _What do I say to them? I don't know them and if at one point I did I doubt I really know them. I have many acquaintances who call themselves friend__s but I don't really know them._"Hey the shrimp actually came over!" a loud voice said. It grated on my nerves and I frowned at the orange haired young man. I remember he is Kuwabara from Kurama's descriptions. "Shut up," I said. R.J. appeared at my side wearing a mischievous smile. He always has something planned, and since I refuse to pry into his thoughts I never know what that is. It makes me a little weary, especially after that bathroom stunt. It sure as hell worked but I didn't like it. "Don't you need to call your girlfriend or go away?" I asked and he rolled his eyes. He didn't budge he just introduced himself to everyone. The overly cheerful Botan, the annoying Kuwabara, Yusuke the detective, Kurama the fox, Shizuru the calm one, and of course Yukina."So...who are you to Hiei?" Yusuke asked with a sneer."Roommates," I interrupted before a word could come out of the strange young man I live with. He raised his hands in defeat offering me a charming smile. I smile sarcastically at him and wipe it from my face a second later. R.J. shrugged it off and put his hands in his pockets nodding politely to a person who just so happened to walk by. He nodded at another woman at a table who is alone and after she said something he wandered off to talk to her. I can never figure him out. I gazed back at the table they are all speaking of nonsense things, things which I generally don't concern myself with. To have so many adventures and trips to other worlds you would think they would have something more fascinating to say than 'nice weather'. "You haven't changed much, other than the whole job thing you're still relatively the same," Shizuru said lighting a cigarette. The whole group is making me uncomfortable. I prefer to come to terms with my past on my own. I'd like to remember everything on my own and I do not need them to shove memories and painful feelings at me."I have to go now... I'm moving to a new apartment we need to pack," I said and departed abruptly. R.J. followed a few seconds later pulling a portable CD player out of his small bag. I walked slightly ahead of him as always listening to him sing the rather obscene lyrics I have learned to enjoy. He made a comment to me occasionally catching up then slowing down to change CDs or examine whatever he found fascinating then running up until he was a reasonably caught up with me. He sometimes stopped to examine a flower, a car, a building, a store, maybe to talk to someone, anything really. Innocent are his impulses to look at the world around him but brutal in his analysis of them."Life is weird. When we're born we depend on everyone for everything. We start to gain memory, sight, control of our limbs, the ability to feed ourselves but as we grow older it's like we're regressing...well humans anyway. We go back to depending on everyone we lose our teeth again, the ability to walk even our memories in most cases. I'm sure there are a few old fucks around who can do a thing or two but overall it's that way. And one of these days I'm going to be like that," he commented laughing a little. I think he would drive himself mad if he didn't have such a sense of humor. His honesty is his observations can be hurtful and depressing but he can always find a way to lighten that up. "Stop thinking so much," I said over my shoulder. He laughed and grabbed onto a tree branch we walked under and he began to swing from it. He let out strange noises and people walking by stared. He nodded and said hello here and there. I leapt into the branch he chose to hang on and people stared. He swung himself up and sat next to me. He's incredibly agile and strong for a human. Come to think of it he could probably harness his spirit energy. I watched as he flicked a lighter on and off. On second thought suppose his energies involve fire. He's already a pyromaniac as it is- more than I am.End of that chapter... I just don't know what else to add right now. Please review if you like, or if you have any comments.


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